Something Darren Hayes tweeted, prompted me to blog about it.
"@darrenhayes: If you are 'sad' or 'disappointed' or feel the need to say 'I knew' when someone comes out - what does that say about you? Change your view."
I find it highly offensive when someone says they are sad or disappointed that someone has come out. Just because they dig the same sex doesn't mean you don't have a snowballs chance in hell of dating them anymore, chances are, you had no chance anyway.
I don't actually find it a negative thing to say you knew someone was gay before they came out. It just means you are aware and don't care. So many people I work with are gay and I never knew. I don't see it as a big deal, some like the same sex and some don't. such is life.
I don't see people differently once they 'come out', I don't care who they choose to love and sleep with.... it just makes me happy people are accepting.
It makes me smile when people come out because it means the world is changing and people are more accepting. That being said, I still find it sad people have to come out at all, but then I think, like I'd have a conversation about a boy, a gay person can have a conversation about the same sex and it doesn't matter.
It makes me sad when people flinch in a conversation when I mention 'his boyfriend' or 'her girlfriend'. that's the issue there.
Is it any better to say you'd no idea when someone comes out? maybe you could know them better, or maybe it implies assumptions made by you, or dishonesty or half truths on their behalf ? That's not a nice way to look at it.
For the record, I'm an advocate of gay rights, have been since my early teens, and I love my gays. It's just my take on it, that's all.
"@darrenhayes: The world is a mirror of you. What does it say about you? What can you change so you like the reflection more?"
I don't know what the world says about me. I'm kind, hard working and loyal, I try not to judge. I hope the world sees that. I'm not perfect, I just wanna be a better person each day.
I know what I would change, the answer to that question is personal.
you know I love you D. You know my sexuality and my fight. 140
characters just wasn't enough to express that.