I’ve been thinking so much about the passing of Mark (Guitarist with The Script) these last few days. And I knew I wanted to blog all my feelings.
When I first seen the preview of the announcement on my instagram notifications, with just his face in the photo, I thought it was just gonna say he’s left the band. He’s been gone a while but I was not prepared to never see him, never hear him, never laugh with him, (and at him..) or cry with him in joy and sadness, ever again.
It doesn’t seem real. I cried so hard. People might think that’s silly for someone I didn’t know personally but to me, Mark was so much. An inspiration. A light in my dark.
I cried myself to sleep the day he passed. I couldn’t stop thinking of his poor wife, laying alone without him, whilst reminding myself how lucky I am. Life is so fucking unfair. How can 3 kids just be robbed of their dad, a fucking amazing man, Like that?
I’ve see this band 44 times. They remain my most watched live band. From a few hundred at O’Shea’s Irish bar in Manchester, to 80,000 at Croke park in Dublin. This band are my everything.
Mark and I had so many memories. More than i can probably remember.
My love of this band started with the man who can’t be moved, I stayed around because of science and faith, and then kelly convinced me to come to London to see them do an album launch show for the 3rd record. Kelly had sent sent me a couple of sneaky new songs we shouldn’t have had yet. One was six degrees of separation. I sat crying in the middle of kings cross station waiting for kelly, listening to them songs for the first time.
We went to the gig, Barrier right in front of mark. He starts his bit in six degrees, where he calls out “No, no, there ain't no help, it's every man for himself” and in instinct I call back. It was a real moment between artist and fan, him and me. (And then they cussed us all out for knowing the words before the songs were released 😂).
That part of Mark‘s in six degrees became a thing between mark and I whenever I was barrier in front of him, he and I would have a moment. (I and many other fans at many other shows and the same shows, I know I’m not special but those moments where)
After that album launch show, that band and mark gained a special place in my heart.
I remember Bridlington and after the show my friend Anna said "did you see mark looking over the speaker for you?". I was of course mark’s side but so far behind a speaker he couldn’t see me, and I could barely see him… then we met them after the show. Some girl had left her heels in the middle of the group of us and ran over to him. I of course tripped over them and mark wanted to know what happened 😂. I can’t even remember what I told him, probably just that I tripped over someone’s shoes and he laughed. He was rather drunk and I was rather speechless. And I remember hating how I looked in that photo but now I just treasure it.
But that isn’t my favourite time I met Mark. My favourite time was the second time time. Cardiff 19.03.2013. That show was something else. Then mark almost got lynched for saying they had their first lock-in in England last night.. but they were in wales 😂. We waited ages after the show at the gate. By the time the they had come out to say hello, we only had a couple of hours before a national express coach hell via London to get the next show in Brighton. But it was so worth it. Mark was so beautiful to us all. He literally skipped over to the gate, stank of whiskey, it I wouldn’t have had it any other way. he worked hard, gave us everything and more, and played hard.
I remember when they first joined periscope. Mark had got a multipack of cheese and onion tayto crisps, lifted his shirt up and held it up against his chest, Asking us if we liked his 6 pack.. I laughed so hard. That was typical mark.
There was the first time I met mark. 29.09.2012.
Lord know how I won tickets to see them at bbc radio 2, that remains my best win ever, it was such a special show and meeting them for the first time afterwards was so surreal.
The there was the HMV signing 08.11.2019. The last time I was to get to speak to mark. I had a tooth abscess from hell, I was in pain before I got on the train to Manchester that morning but I took some painkillers and carried on. But boy, after I left HMV and the buzz had worn off, I was in agony. It was a Friday night. I ended up calling 111 and a paramedic called me back and told me about an amazing drug that basically left me conked out until the dentist on Monday. I would still skip trying to get sorted sooner for the script any day.
There was a many other moments too.
Then there was Swindon oasis - 25.08.17. The most random venue in a sports hall, with the best jacket spud ever for lunch in the queue. I didn’t want to wait after that show. My feet hurt like hell, and I was exhausted. I was a grumpy nightmare, Kelly persuaded me to stay. And it was then that we got meet and greet style photos with the band. All 3 of them made such an effort to give us everything we wanted and more. I remember their bodyguard Sean telling me to ‘get in there’ with Danny and Glen, but I wasn’t about to move because Mark was closest but still talking kelly, and I was all about Mark.
Birmingham NEC arena 15.02.18.
We decided to try and wait at the stage door that night. Anna had brought a bought of
Champagne to the queue to celebrate my engagement. I’d probably drank half of it when the band came out 😂. It was freezing but they were so adorable and gave us all the time they needed to take photos ❤️.
Birmingham NEC Arena - 26.2.15. One of my favourite times meeting them. I got compliments on my Hoodie and scarf (that was their merch lol). Their bodyguard Sean let us in the corridor at the stage door and lined us all up to get our turn. He told us we all had to turn round and face the wall, we all done it, no questions asked, and when we all turned back around he was pissing himself laughing. But seriously, What other band would even do that?
One of my favourite things to do was to try and get all the arty photos. Especially that tour. As I looked through Facebook for the photo of mark and I, one caught my attention. If you could see me now, and the word ‘gone’ behind mark. ðŸ˜. It’s so unfair.
I can’t believe I’ll never get to link arms with my girls during Mark’s part in ‘For The First Time’ where he repeats over “oh these time are hard” and we sing back through the tears back at him, Yeah, they're making us crazy / Don't give up on me, baby”. It will never be the same without you Mark. But I will keep doing this at any future shows in your memory.
Over the years it became ‘my thing’ to record Mark’s speeches before certain songs. He was such an inspiration and one day I will dig out all those videos and remember all the feels. I used to feel elated, happy, emotional, inspired, entertained…Mark was all those things to me. I’ve just read his speeches I had typed out or paraphrased in my iPhone notes. I laughed and I cried. I really missed his speeches on the tour last year and I noticed straight away he was letting Danny do the talking. But to never get to see Mark again doesn’t seem real and doesn’t make sense.
These are some of my faves:
"Our view is definitely better than your view, I know you have to look at us fucking ugly bastards.. It's crazy because life is like a tightrope, you can fall off, the wind can blow you anyway it wants, it can take you down, but you know everyday you gotta take one step in front of the other, every single day". 'Man on a Wire’ - Thetford Forest - 11.7.2013
"I'm absolutely terrified of heights and the lads are always doing fucking evil shit to me. They put on the documentary Man on a wire, about a guy who put a rope between the twin towers and walked across it, (he had a pole but that's not the point), and I thought about why he do that and it has to be girl, so we wrote this song” - Man on a Wire - iTunes festival 15.09.2014
“Music is the umbrella we can all hide under.." - Man on a Wire - Croke Park - 20.06.2015
“Belfast! Are you guys good? It sounds like we are back amongst friends... This song is a little bit like life, life is just like a tightrope, when you are walking across that tightrope you never know if you are gonna fucking fall off or you are gonna hang on" - 'Man on a Wire’ - Tennents vital - 30.08.15
“…Need somebody to listen to ya, and not listen with the intent to reply all the time, you just need somebody to listen, right? that is what this song is for us. This song is called arms open” - Birmingham o2 academy - 24.08.17
“We wrote this song because the world feels like a fucked up place”. - ‘Arms Open’ - Birmingham NEC arena 15.02.18
I never really knew about Mark until that #3 album launch show, and our moment. He gained a special place in my heart that day. And his speeches are legendary. And his raps.
And I still think #3 remains their best album, especially for Mark’s vocals and rapping. I heard a story the label didn’t like it, but I think it’s genius. I loved how they stood up for what he believed in. ‘Give the love around’ is one of my favourite songs. It’s such a message. So powerful.
I’ll leave you with the greatest rap of Mark’s:
“See the thing about Karma is she loves a bit of drama, yeah
Loves to hunt you down and pay ya back for the things you did
Before you turn a positive to a negative
Better pray before you know exactly who the fuck you're dealing with
This is not a dress rehearsal, let me tell you kid
Whatever you put out there is coming back again
Years may burn (ohh)
Tables gonna turn
Karma's coming back around
Either way you're gonna learn
To give love to your neighbor, love to yourself
It don't matter bout your status
Man your health is your wealth
We can all point a finger but there's four pointing back at yourself
I'll be the bigger man now
Give a little help”
Rest in peace Mark. Party hard with the angels. Hug your mum and dad again, you were too young when you lost them. Make everyone laugh up there and your legacy will always be that you inspired people, including me to do better and be better.
As you would always sign off with, Big Love.
