Saturday, 25 May 2013

Would you look into the twilight if you knew that it could blind your eyes

The Candle Thieves
Chorlton Arts  Festival 
Wilbraham St Ninians United Reformed Church

I actually don't know what to say. We laughed, we cried, we loved. 

The support from Scott and Glock and the strength their music brings me is something I don't take for  granted and won’t change because the band have split.

Last Night was so many different things.

We sat in the bar crossed the road called 'oddest' before the show and talked about the memories. The crowd surfing shark that made the first balcony at Birmingham symphony hall is right up there. And the balloons album launch. 

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The church was beautiful but the same can’t be said for the support act. Anna sighed heavily. My thoughts exactly. I don't do religion and I never will. Listening to a band spout their religious ideologies marketed as a 'song' was getting on my last nerve, but I knew the candle thieves would be worth it.

What I wasn't prepared for was how fucking beautiful Scott and Glock's voices sounded in that church. The sound travelled so beautifully, it was the best I'd ever heard them, and it was so bittersweet because it was the end. 

1. Breathing (just for you).

I adore this song. I still remember when I bought the album ‘Sunshine and other misfortunes’ and played it and this song stood out. It reminds me of drunken times at Darren Hayes NYE party and it I just love it.

"But your words were my lifeline, I tried this time to reach out. Breathe in and breathe out".

couldn't have put it better myself. I knew then that tonight was gonna get hard. 

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2. My little room

I've always loved this song. It gives me happiness. 

It made me smile though….and Scott too: "I went to church to teach me how to smile, I'm so happy now that I could cry."

Scott made a comment he didn't realise it was gonna be this hard tonight. Yeah me neither. I thought the music would sail me through on the usual euphoria until the end. But this isn't what a candle thieves gig normally feels like.

3. NEW SONG: ocean of storms?

didn't quite catch what this song was called.

I’m not gonna lie, I was nervous about what this new album ‘All’s well that ends well’ might sounds like. From the opening bars of this song, I knew it was gonna be ok. 

OMG. major relate. I was determined not to cry but this song almost got to me. I sat beside a friend and I just KNEW she understood too. Special songs paint pictures in your head. If I could paint, I would paint you what the song looked like. I can't remember the lyrics that hit me square in the chest, but just seriously, I just understand.

It’s definitely gonna become a fave candle thieves song of mine. It sounds so gorgeous. 

4. NEW SONG: Don't Grow Up Too Soon

This song made me think of Glock's newborn baby boy. "Don’t grow up too soon... we could waste an afternoon". so sweet. 

5. Lonely lonely lonely.

Scott said they had a choice of songs. ‘The Rock and The Bug’ or ‘lonely lonely lonely’. I screamed for the rock and the bug, my heart beating out my chest, because that is one of the songs that I connect to most.  

lonely lonely lonely won out. 

It made me sad that I'd always dreamed of the rock and the bug 'maybe one day' and now it's a definite no, because this is the end.

But it was still major fun. Glock forgot about his surroundings and a certain perhaps inappropriate lyric.

I’m sorry I lost it half way through the video, I was DYING laughing. Nice lyric change afterwards Glock. We love you.

I watched as Scott as he stood clutching his water bottle, watching Glock sing, I could tell what Scott was thinking: ‘I DON'T WANT THIS TO END’. 

I’ve been running around all day today just singing ‘let me in and I won’t bother you again’. The rain was hammering off the train window when i was playing it on the way home. somehow fitting.

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6. NEW SONG: it's in my mind?

didn't quite catch the name of this one either.

I liked this one with the ukulele. Glock and Scott were out in the aisle, and then Danny gruff stood up from literally behind us and contributed a few lines. He sounded good as well. I didn't realise he was sat behind us. There was a lyric about hell, giving the surroundings, I giggled. EVERY TIME.

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7. Not the only one

This song makes me sad. It makes me think of the story behind it. Scott's voice is just WOW on it.

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8. The Sunshine Song

Scott: ‘We are gonna pick things up a bit’
Nope it’s not working I thought. I'm thoroughly sad now.

“we can't stay young forever but we can stay young for the rest of our days”.

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9. Sharks and bears

Scott: "actually I’m gonna use electric for this next one as it's means we're more rock and we mean business... Glock have you got any tales of fave moments in the band?"

"We used to have a list of things we wanted to do before we split up, like a band bucket list. One of them was play a song with our pants around our ankles". Someone shouted “it’s not too late”. That was literally my thoughts exactly.

Scott remarked that they thought that if a gig wasn't going so well, they could at least be the band that played with their pants down.

I guess a crowd surfing shark in a church would have been frowned upon, but I did miss it. 

"Talking to myself I wonder if I'm really there". yep that's me.

…and it still reminds me of that time I did really dream about a shark and a bear in a cage together at a zoo. I was just concerned the shark wasn't in any water and was out on the concrete with the bear.... don't ask. I digress.....

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10. We won't ever be rich (but we could be happy).

Scott: ‘This is our last song but we are gonna come back and sing a bit more if you want us to’.

awwww our happy song. It’s literally the soundtrack myself and my friends lives. It made me happy for a minute, almost made me almost forget it was the end, and then they changed the lyrics to 'we won't ever be rich but were splitting up' and it made me really sad. The sing-a-long just wasn’t the same.

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Glock lit the sparkler. Then remarked that he thought scott was gonna talk for longer. LOL. Whoops.

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11. NEW SONG:  Too little Too late.

 "Wish there was something I could do to make you stay".
yeah, THAT lyric exactly.

Scott sang about a girl that basically told a boy no more chances. That you can’t argue all afternoon and then just buy flowers. That you can’t slam the door and scare the birds and think it funny (I thought it was funny). That maybe he wasn't a knight in shining armour...and I just kept thinking HE IS. SHE'S A FOOL.

Scott said they was gonna end with that one but they couldn't. 

.... And then the band bucket list re-appeared.  Scott said another one on the bucket list was get a chant going. I don’t know how the chant ended up being “chew-ing gum, chew-ing gum”. Anyhow, We did it Scott!
He joked afterwards “I just wish I could have been something more meaningful”.

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12. We're All Gonna Die (Have Fun) 

They played 3/4 of the song through and then Scott said mid-song "if hails is here tonight that song's for you". Scott knows why. THANK YOU. I started to shake. My heart beat out of my chest again. That little shout out meant so much to me.

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13. Stars. 

Scott was swapping guitars and said "I don't wanna rush it's our last song". At that moment the silence in the room became deafening. It made me so sad. 

I was videoing this song for Anna. I lost it once Scott started to cry. To see him swallow tears and still open his mouth to sing. So brave. I was crying too. I was doing so well until Scott started crying.

The video’s a bit shaky because I was trying not to cry all over it lol.

I looked around after the band had come off stage and half the room was also crying. 

“You shine like stars to me”. Always.

After the show.

Someone asked Scott how he got to know Darren Hayes. “We made a video with his husband Richard Cullen. Darren was acting as a runner, making cups of tea, and I thought I'm sure that's the guy out of savage garden, what's he doing here”. Awwwww.

I managed to FINALLY get a copy of Twilight. I never thought I would ever get my hands on it. I gave scott a tenner and he joked that when I got home I’d realise it wasn't worth a tenner and he wanted to give me change. I said no. keep it. And I got home and I played it for the first time and it made me realise a few things: 
* I'm obsessed with Scott's voice.
* I’m not the only tortured soul out there.
* I didn't realise how much of the first candle thieves record was Scott's own EP.
* Such a gorgeous pretty shiny disc!!
* it was totally worth the £10 Scott said it wasn't.

"Would you look into the twilight if you knew that it could blind your eyes?"

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finally a full set:

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And then we got thrown out of church and into the car-park.

Glock joked that the new album might be a hit now they’ve split up and they’d joked their success would come after they split. Glock joked that he keeps trying to crash the car to get headlines. Once we’d got kicked out into the car park, I told Glock this was his chance to run someone over LOL.

I said to Glock outside that my first thought when I heard that sound travel so beautifully in that church was that's its criminal how talented they are but they never made it :( :(

I just went up to Scott and threw my arms around him. I didn't have many words, I just needed a hug. I think he did too.

Scott asked if I had a pen and rather abruptly said no. oops. I didn’t mean it like that.

Scott also said he’d forgotten his bag of gig clothes hence why he was wearing what he was.

I look really happy in my picture. I was really happy to be speaking to them, but really sad given the circumstances.

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A final note.

I Actually can't believe it's over. The only small comfort is the new album in August. I know it's gonna be awesome but also so bittersweet. 

Thank you guys, for the music, the love, the laughs.... good luck with everything you do. And massive congrats to Glock on the birth of Glock jr. 

I love what you guys do. Don’t ever give up singing, playing, even if it’s only for fun in your living rooms on a Saturday afternoon, I know how much joy you get from playing and singing and that should never stop because the band has.  

Maybe one day the time will be right and the band will get back together and we can have a big reunion of our own.

Thank you for making music that has a place in my heart. I love you guys.

Good luck and take care.

All’s well that ends well.

Much Love, 


Tuesday, 14 May 2013

A Love Letter to Newton Faulkner

“It's one thing time will not erase, My life would not have been the same”.

On 1/11/07 I can't begin to tell you how much my life changed. 

I bought a single by an artist called Newton Faulkner. This song had been on the radio at work for months but I couldn't catch enough of the lyrics above the noise to Google it. Then I was sitting watching TV one night and this advert came on. It was THAT song. I quickly noted the artist’s name and went to iTunes. I downloaded the song, it was called ‘Dream Catch Me’. I still remember that exact moment I saw that ad. Something clicked.


In January 2008 my sister lent me the album. I fell in love with it. I very quickly decided I needed to see this guy live. My friend and I went to see Newton play at the Cambridge corn exchange in February 2008. I was broke so she very kindly let me sleep on her floor and bought me my ticket. That night blew my mind. As did her kindness.

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I wasn't until March 2008, when my cat died unexpectedly and I ended up in a house share as I had to leave my flat that I noticed this guy Newton Faulkner really was special. The strength he gave me in those darkest hours is something I can’t explain. Those few months in 2008 were absolutely horrid. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Depression consumed me. I look back now and I have no idea how I made I got through it. I counted my blessings for the friends who saw me through, and I never forgot about Newton either. In those months I went on iTunes and I purchased up every single version of the songs I didn't have and all the bonus tracks.

I joined Newton's website and forum. Kept up with the news.


what’s that? New album and a gig in London? go on then.

20 Oct 2009. 
That night at the shepherd’s bush empire, front row, the new album stole my heart. As did Newton. Now he didn't have a band behind him, just a few guitars, a tape machine, foot pedals and odd socks. There was this new song, ‘If This is it’. I fell in love with it. Long before Newton explained the song I knew it was about the feeling you get at a gig. I knew because I felt it too. There was other new songs that night, songs that had already stole my heart when the album when it was released in September 2009, and my favourite ‘I'm not giving up yet’. OH MY. Mr inspiration. BIG TIME. That show remains one of my favourites ever
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March 2010. 
Newton was playing my adopted home town, Nottingham, and I had to go. 3rd row, fun night. But I knew that crowd was capable of much more than what they gave that night. They just didn't seem to understand Newton or what he does. So I booked a last minute ticket to St Patrick's day at the Hammersmith Apollo  I'm Irish, it was an amazing artist and an excuse to have a great night. I was right up in the gods at the back but it didn't change a single thing. That gig was amazing. I wasn't wrong. The audience gave what I knew they were capable of.

There was one amazing thing that came out of Nottingham  I stole a poster off the door on the way out (well the guy at the venue did say take it when I'm not looking) and took it to the stage door to try and meet newton. And I met him, and he was impressed with my poster stealing skills. haha.

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Nov 2010. 
Highlands and Islands tour. 
No change in hell a girl in Nottingham can get to it. Gutted.


May 2011. St Pancras church. This girl couldn't get a ticket for the love of anything worth wishing on.

The rest of 2011 was mostly festivals.  Also impossible.

Then came a break. 
15 June 2011:The Forum - Bath. 
What a beautiful venue and such a good show. A tale about I've been thinking about it, a pirates with rabies version of 'gone in the morning' and 'Professional dog food taster'. Serious LOLz.

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Newton was back with new music.
May 2012 was my chance.

I was front row in London at the Scala but absolutely devastated when the show started late due to technical issues and I had to leave and miss the end of the show to get my last train. I got home at 2am and went on eBay and bought an e-ticket to Birmingham the next night. Impulsive? Me? Never.  I had to get the last train again but this time I made it to the end of the show and ran to the station. I'm so pleased I did. That night was amazing. The second time hearing the new songs, and already I’d been bitten by them. ‘Soon’, ‘Against The Grain’ and ‘Clouds’ had literally bowled me over. That emotion him me square in the chest. I stood there in Birmingham, tears in my eyes, singing my heart out to the words I knew of the new songs and all of the old. Clouds especially got to me.


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8 May 2012. Newcastle upon Tyne.
I’d already booked this one to go with a friend, it wasn't another implusive thing. Front row, singing my little heart out to increasingly familiar new songs. And then we met Newton afterwards and all the things I wanted to say refused to fall out of my mouth apart from hi and thanks.

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I decided I couldn't not see Newton one more time. So I got 2 tickets to Leeds on ebay, sold one for face value to a girl in the queue, met my friend and we done another front row in what Newton called ‘The Bomb shelter’. Leeds cockpit.  Still one of my favourite ever shows. AMAZING.  I met Newton after and he recognised me, wrote ‘4 gigs?!’ on my flyer and I had a little chat with him. Just like an old friend. He was so sweet to me. I did try and stretch to Dundee the following week but just couldn't make it work.

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October 2012. 
Another tour. SQUEE.
I'm sorry bank account, I do love you really.

I was so ill I almost didn't go. But singing my heart out to dream catch me and Newton seeing me and singing back to me made the whole thing worthwhile.

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LOVED the chat afterwards. He might just of well recognised me from may!

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"this next song requires a small amount of tea, it's not actually tea it's ginger and honey, yes I know it's cannibalism"
That is not a sexy face. *when concentrating tuning his guitar, someone shouted 'sexy'. 
People just shouting requests and Newton just playing them: Kermit the frog version of professional dog food taster, full fat and UFO.
....And then that you again look at the stage door Lol.

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And then Leicester with colleagues....

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......and Birmingham.

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Until next time Newton, I still love you just as much as before. If not more.

“If this is it, all we have,
 I know I've done all I can.
If this is it.

And we can't stop,

And start again,

We can't fast forward to the end.
This is it”.