Friday, 18 March 2011
it reminds me of the tube in london.
It was the day after Michael Jackson Died.
Daniel was my new fave song of the moment. I tend to buy a song on itunes, play it to death and then forget about it's existence for six months when it gets replaced by the next best thing. Call me fickle.
I was on my way to see The Killers play hyde park. I was playing Daniel non stop SO LOUD. Just trying to drown out the silence. Everywhere you went that day, the silence was deafening. I stood there on the tube, reading the free london paper about MJ's death and I just felt numb. I was listening to daniel, just trying to feel something.
I wasn't even an MJ fan. I never was. MJ's death moved me to tears and made me feel numb because he was the king of pop. An icon. And I knew people I adored where hurting because they were his fans.
As soon as I found out he has died I hit play on 'You're Not Alone' and cried like a baby. It just seemed to fit his death so well, and i'd always loved that song.
It reminds me of her and my beautiful ireland.
Thursday, 17 March 2011
Lady gaga's - Summerboy.
It's New Year 2010, My Darren Hayes bestie Kelly came down to PARTAY.
And the pub was shit.
There was some idiot murdering men at work and then elvis.
So we stayed for one drink, drank up, and came home.
we put lady gaga on the ipod dock speaker.
we drank smirnoff ice.
we played viva pinata party animals on the xbox.
I feel so honoured of all the people kelly could have chose to spend New Year with, she chose me.
I defy anyone who tells me friendships you have with other fans of an artist aren't proper friendships.
My Friend Ade.
Someone in a loving caring relationship so then I would know how it feels for someone to love me. adore me. Be excited when I walk through the door. Someone that would appreciate me.
Then I would know what it feels like to be a part of a whole.
And I would be a much better photographer with a much better vision for creativity than I am in reality ;)
Sunday, 13 March 2011
Taken from their album, Whatever Gets You Through The Day.
It was 2003. I was 15, Desparately unhappy and yet hopelessly in love.
I kept a diary about the guy I loved and I'd sit for hours writing it and listening to this album.
I had one of those novelty artifical fish bubble floor lamps that provided the mood.
I look back at that time, when I was young and my idea of love wasn't tarnished and I felt totally loved up. It used to pain me a little that the guy didn't know I loved him. But mostly I just loved him, freely and unconditionally. FOOL.
Things started going wrong once I sent him a love letter for Valentines. He didn't love me. And he told everyone else but me this fact, along with what I had said in the letter.
It hurt like F**King hell.
For a while after I told him, he refused to speak to me. Buy slowly we became friends. We studied the same A Levels. We were both misfits, science geeks and music freaks. He was a good friend to me for a while. We lost touch after school. I would look for him online and see if I could find him. I didn't find him. But I did in the end.
In fact I eventually found him FIVE years later on facebook. I used to look for him on there sometimes and one day I actually found him. I guess it wasn't the guy's fault really. I had no clue he was gay.
8 days later he came out. I had already kind of worked it out. The shirt he was wearing in his profile pic SCREAMED at me. So I checked out his 'interested in' on his profile. Then sent him a message saying congrats on coming out.
He apologised. I understand that he was confused and Ireland isn't an easiest place to be gay. But it would have saved me so much time, effort and pain had he of told me then. All that freaking out I done about why I was undesirable and unlovable. All the trust issues I have with men... I'm angry.
So yeah, this song makes me sad because it me reminds me of how loved up and I was and then how hurt I was. This album was our album in my mind.
"It's a bittersweet emotion
That I'm feeling baby, now you're happy again
But I'm a little bit disappointed
Cos now you've got your freedom
But you're still looking over the fence
It's always the same
At the end of the day
You always want what you haven't got"
most of my favourite memories are gig related and you've heard all them stories before.
Most of the memories I have that aren't gig related, the photos are in Ireland.
Ok i'm just gonna run with this one.
It was the first time I'd met up properly with my dear friend Ade.
Sorry the photo is a shite one of me, I didn't take many photos that day.
We sat in the pub and chatted about everything.
There was vodka and red bull.
There was moments I was close to tears.
There was moments of laughing so hard I could barely breathe.
My dinner was stone cold as I wouldn't shut up talking whilst Ade was actually eating his LOL.
To the average person, Ade is just an average guy. Like everyone else.
But he is so much more to me.
He's a best friend.
TOTALLY ALWAYS there for me. As I am him.
Sometimes we are so alike it freaks me out.
Sometimes we know what the other one is about to say, or how they are feeling before they say it.
I never realised I had a creative side until I met Ade.
and you know what the best thing is?
He wants the best for me.
As I do him.
While I struggled to find a connection to the Lighthouse Family despite the fact I have loved them for a long long time, I didn't struggle with the support act, Ben Montague.
From the first few notes I knew he was onto something. It's so rare to be so bowled over instantly.
You know that feeling, when a song just flows right through you, to your core, and you just want to burst with the love you have for it?
Well that was what Ben done to me.
He's got this song called Haunted. And I fell in love with it even more than the other songs.
"And I'm haunted
Still a part of me that's haunted
By the only one I've ever wanted
Everyone has their ghost"
His voice is incredible.
The first thing I did when Ben left the stage was to go and buy his CD ‘Overcome’. He had persuaded his management to make the CD available on the tour. Its not out until the summer. I'm so glad I went and bought it.
I queued up in the huge line of people who had bought one and wanted Ben to sign it. He was lovely. A really nice guy, as were his band.
After the lighthouse family I queued up in the line again and asked for a photo.
This is the video for the song haunted:
If you go to his myspace page or website you can register your email and postcode and it emails you a link to download the title track from the album 'overcome' for free. AMAZING song.
I've just joined his pledge music page. You can buy the new acoustic CD 'together' and the joining fee is waived. I think it's a great thing that fans can fund the record before it's recorded so that it even exists at all :)
42 days until release :) I’m excited.
Ben is wonderful. Please check him out.
Friday, 11 March 2011
Friends, drinks (ok lots of drinks), dancing, laughing, We partied HARD. The time of my life.
This photo was taken the night we collected our degrees. We went out to celebrate. I was happy. I was carefree (a bit too care free) jeez the hair! I decided I was hardcore and didn't need the umbrella when it rained.
good times. I miss our nights clubbing. LOTS.
I've loved it since the very begining when it was first broadcast in summer 2007.
It was the first prime time American drama to have a same-sex union. It's also got one of the best all star line-ups. Rachel Griffiths, Balthazar Getty, Sally Field, Calista Flockhart & Matthew Rhys. And it used to have Rob Lowe too.
I often end up crying when I watch it. I know its only a show but its actors and actresses are incredible. The relationships it portrays are real and heart breaking. And Definitely emotional. It definitely teaches me lessons.
It always has a gripping storyline. I can never wait for next week's show to come. and thankfully as it averages 20 or so episodes per series I have lots of weeks a year to see it.
Then I buy the DVD ;)
Thursday, 10 March 2011
It has to be The Killers but I don't know which song.
The Killers have been a part of my life since summer 2005. I've been part of their forum since 2005 and I've been in their fan club since 2007. They are a HUGE part of my life. I heart them with all I have. I honestly believe than Brandon Flowers is an amazing front man, incredible singer/songwriter and true genius. The other band members make it The Killers don't forget that, Brandon's solo stuff is very different.
It's so hard to pick just one song that makes me happy because a lot of them do. I love Smile Like You Mean It. It made me discover the killers. I LOVE its synth.
I think I’m gonna have to pick Human. Because I just went down all my favourites in iTunes and I hit play on human and my heart skipped a beat. The song is almost 2 1/2 years old and it can still do that. It's a VERY special song. I heart it lots. It's also synth heavy ;)
I love it.
It makes my heart skip a beat.
I love its lyrics.
I love its melody.
Its just good old fashioned FUN.
“Close your eyes, clear your heart
Are we human or are we dancer?....
Pay my respects to grace and virtue
Send my condolences to good
Give my regards to soul and romance
They always did the best they could…
Wave goodbye, wish me well
You've gotta let me go.....
Will your system be alright
When you dream of home tonight?
There is no message we're receiving
Let me know is your heart still beating”
Did I mention I love it?
Tuesday, 8 March 2011
30 photos for 30 days: Day 2: A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
I've known her since I was 14 but it wasn't until the next summer when I was 15 that we got really close. We would chat on the phone for hours each day during summer holidays.
This is a photo of Lou and me taken on my 16th Birthday. We had a war over the jaffa cake box and we laughed and ate smarties, bacon fries and cake.
Then we had a sleepover and we stayed up half the night giggling, talking and having a heart to heart.
I loved those days. I miss those days.
Enrique Iglesias - Tonight (I'm F**king you).
I really dislike this song.
I've loved Enrique on and off since 2002. I loved him the minute I saw him sing ‘Hero’ on Top of The Pops. He kinda lost me a bit with ‘Seven’ but ‘insomniac’ brought me back to him. I do honestly feel that insomniac was as good as ‘escape’ but now with the new album 'Euphoria' he's decided to be something other than what he is. He's gone and written all these R'n'B songs and duets and collaborations and to me it just feels like he is trying to be something other than an amazing singer/songwriter who does love songs.
I remember being shocked when I heard his song called 'On Top of You'. It doesn't need me to spell it out to you what that song was about. But it was sensual as well as sexual. It wasn't graphic for the sake of it. It was romantic as opposed to explicit. It was about making love to someone rather than f**king them. There is a difference.
Tonight, I’m F**king you, however, is graphic and explicit just to sensationalise and you know what... sex sells, and so does controversy. Because the music video got to number one on the music channels in the UK and the song was Enrique's first number 1 in America.
Capital FM said it well: "the video for this next song is utter filth, there are ladies wearing bottomless tights"
The video isn't necessarily too far, but it's wrong for him. It’s a hot video but I don’t think the orgy scene was necessary. I LOVE the bathroom scene, the way the sound dips; just like it does in the toilets when you are clubbing, that was a good touch. I do fancy the pants off him and always will. He needed to get his top off ;). I like that bit ;). He does look damn HOT.
Don’t start me on the lyrics either. That lyric 'been to every nation, you know my motivation, given my reputation, please excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but tonight I’m f**king you' is just the most naff lyric. Especially as for years he has said that his reputation for being a ladies man isn't true. Now he is flogging it for all it is worth. I’m sorry but if you didn’t mean to be rude, and you know it's rude, why say it?
I'm not in any way prudish or anything but I don’t think a song needs language like that. The censored version, 'Tonight I'm loving you' is better but I still don’t like it. And the video is the same only the ladies modesty has been preserved just enough to be broadcastable on TV. They are still naked.
Here is the link to the uncensored video: you have been warned:
Monday, 7 March 2011
It was taken in November 2010. I was ready to go out. my sis fell asleep.
1. I was born in England, Live in England, but for most of my childhood I lived in N. Ireland. I consider myself N. Irish, like my accent.
2.I'm a forensic Science graduate.
3. I love video gaming.
4. I talk WAYYY too much when you know me and am quiet if you don't.
5. My motto is to experience is to truly understand.
6. I don't love bullying, rudeness, inequality.
7. I do love chocolate, sunshine, blogging, my bed.
7. Music is my whole existance.
8. My Favourite author is Tony Parsons.
9. Favourite Quote?: 'Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.' - Darren Hayes
10. I'm obsessed with song lyrics. My every thought I could find you a lyric for.
I was anti Jessie J at first. I thought she was all just hype and wanting to be yet another singer who fancied herself as a hip hop artist or equivalent.
I bought her album, as I got it for £7.20, after I saw a video of her singing 'who we are' in the New York subway. I listened intently. I discovered she was an inspiration.
I was bowled over by half the album. The other half not so much.
I'm obsessed with Price Tag. Another lyrically inspiring song.
And your heels so high
That you can’t even have a good time.
Searched Every Corner:
Dance for lights:
…and seeing as I didn’t think to video it, here is the 60 second preview of the new single:
Set my world on fire:
I ADORE this song. it's amongst my top favourites of Darren's.
It's just got this amazing vibe to it that speaks to my soul.
it's that bit at the very start: "ooooh ooooh. ooh ooh ooh. ummmm hmmmm".
it's just got this soul about it. it's an amazing song. And such a sweet love song.
"Well I know that I have only ever held your hand
But just one touch is more than enough to understand
There's a master plan"
"And a melody that plays whenever you're around
I think I've been found"
"There's a tune that plays
It's a sacred sound
It's a symphony I hear whenever you're around
Now my world is filled
With a whisper of love,
and a promise of tomorrow"
When I listen to this song it feels so right, Like I have been found. I do honestly believe that Darren's music sends this beacon out into the universe to be answered and this song feels the closest I can get to answering it.
Sunday, 6 March 2011
I'm a Darren Hayes fan and music is a big part of my life.
This picture was taken at the screening for his Time Machine Tour DVD. Friday 13th June 2008.
I was given little more than 24hrs notice I was going.
As the DVD was about to start all you heard was Darren screaming ‘he’s much better looking in real life’ I nearly died laughing! I was overwhelmed by the sheer use of imagery on the DVD. It looked amazing. I won't ever forget how it felt to sit there and watch it.
It was such a surprise when we got outside of the screening room to discover Darren patiently spending time with anyone who wanted it. A pic, a signature, a hug… he freely gave his time and he just looked so happy. I waited until pretty much everyone has met him and as Tracey called 'is there anyone else?'
I went over and Darren looked so excited to meet us all and as I said hi he threw his arms around me and said ‘hi you alright?’ I calmly said ‘I’m good thanks how are you?’ he said words to the effect of he was good too. For a second it was just like a friend saying hi and giving me a hug. I didn't really comprehend to after the fact that hug was his! He smelt sooo good and I wasn’t expecting a hug, I was kinda taken aback but in a good way. That hug just seemed to go on for ever but at the same time be far too short.
I gave him his card we had all signed. Well see that was where I went wrong. I felt the need to correct the fact not all has signed it, so as I got over excited and talked way too fast and tried to explain I’d passed it around and anyone who wanted to write in it did and some people didn’t want to…. I just stopped. I took a deep breath and put my hand on my chest. Darren looked at me; I think slightly concerned if was getting enough oxygen or else a bit scared of my ramblings on!
I asked if he would sign my promo pic and he said yes. I smiled as he stood and wrote love D on my pic. Then he wrote To Hails and drew a little cartoon of himself and a thought bubble with love hearts. I stood watching him but wasn’t really paying attention to what he was drawing. I’m touched at that little cartoon.
Darren then said ‘we need to get this picture’. I had COMPLETELY forgotten about the pic in the moment and that was the only thing I wanted when I went over! I’ve said to him before online that when I met him I don’t like asking for a pic because I think it might be bothering him. As I put my arm around Darren’s shoulder (like he had mine) and rested my head on his shoulder all that run through my head was 'smile naturally' and how soft his shirt felt. It was that gorgeous fluffy material.
I had met Darren briefly in a pub in leeds after a party in the park in 2007. But this was the first time I had properly met him and got an autograph and a picture. It was a dream come true since I was first a fan of his in 2002 (I did have some SG singles though).
I felt blessed, lucky, priveldiged, shocked, overwhelmed, amazed... all in one. It was an amazing feeling and an amazing day.
so the brief for this one was: (Not the animal you want to be, the animal you think you are closely related to… if that makes sense?)
MY first instinct was the say a lion.
Then I thought "hey lets do one of those personality test things". It said I was most closely related to the walrus. I'm offended.
so I'm going with the lion.
you know I might be a little bit anxious at times. I might be a little depressed at times. But i'm fun loving.
I love going off on adventures to cities for gigs. Even if it does daunt me at first. I often go alone. Everyone says i'm brave. I say, well its that or don't go. And I don't do 'don't go'. I missed out on too much being afraid of getting lost.
To me a lion is an animal with a courage as big as it's heart. It's independant. It's a roamer.
I have a huge heart I just want to share with someone. and until that someone comes I lead an independant life, roaming around, doing what I love to do. I wear my heart on my sleeve because I don't know how to be any different.
maybe sometimes I don't find enough courage to be as fearless as the lion is. And maybe sometimes I am not kind enough to myself.
I've loved lions since I was a little girl.
I've been through a lot. I'm a warrior, i'm strong. I'm a surviver. I'm a fighter.
Just like that lion is.
Saturday, 5 March 2011
I remember being seventeen at my best friend's cousin's 18th birthday and acquiring a taste for smirnoff ice ;). I never went out to clubs in Ireland before or after I was 18. I never done the underage drinking thing. (I never set foot in the student union at uni in Nottingham until 3 weeks before my 19th birthday. I think back and think how far i've come and how far I have to go).
We were dancing to special D -come with me.
It was a bad song but I remember it being the first time I had ever danced. It was painful to watch I can imagine. I've got two left feet and i'm naturally quiet, shy and totally introvert. It wasnt so much dancing as shyly doing the 'dad dance' at the side of the dance floor.
the other song that night was LMC - take me to the cloud's above. I LOVE that song. That night and special D stuck with me. I love dancing, I would always be the first one to want to get up and dance when we were out at uni. I'm just bad at it LOL.
lyrically I love special D's song. I think everyone can relate to a dance beat and the lyrics:
At the end of every week each one of us becomes a freak.
Tonight the DJ makes us move under the sweat drops from the roof.
Each time you let the bass beat hard to know we all spend now apart.
Just activate your energy lets sing the song and come with me.
The speaker system brings the sound,
And light effects are spinning round
All the people on the floor they shake their bodies cry for more.
Never let this feeling go and let the music take control.
Forget your problems and be free,
Enjoy this moment, come with me!
Friday, 4 March 2011
Rhianna - What's my name.
Your name is Rhianna. Now shut the Hell up.
I love me some RiRi, but I CANT STAND this song. It's just damn well irritating and stupid.
especially the "Oh, na, na" bit. ARGHHHHHHHHH. GRRRRRRRR.
...and then I found this one of me sitting on the gladiator Ace's knee in June 1999.
He came to visit our school to promote some sports day thing and I remember sucking at it.
I was 13.
It was when I was still thin and had braces.
He was the first famous person I had ever met....
I got his autograph.
Don't judge me, I lived in the middle of nowhere in N. Ireland.
I never was any good at sports. Can you tell LOL.
Thursday, 3 March 2011
I could tell you about the time on Darren Hayes side 2 tour when Ade the cheeky monkey decided it was funny to embarrass the hell out of me, the place was dead quiet listening to Darren sing 'dirty':
Darren Sings: ‘And when you move its assumed you feel it too....'
Ade screams: 'don't you hayley?’
...or I could tell you about the time at Darren Hayes NYE party in 2009 when we are all dancing to human league's 'Don't You Want Me'. Ade is doing the cheeky monkey routine again: I got 'SerenADEd' (his words) with him singing ‘Don’t you want me HAYLEY’. I almost died. LOL!
...or I could tell you about the time my flatmates and I were out in the student bar 'templars' in town. I loved that place. Two pitchers of cocktails for £7. We used to have one each LOL. There was one night we were having a great time and oasis' 'don't look back in anger' came on. There was me and my flatmate, at the top of our voices, singing AT each other. my other flatmate come over and said 'shut up they can hear you at the bar'. we continued to sing:
"SOOOOO SALLY CAN WAIT, SHE KNOWS IT'S TOO LATE AS WE'RE WALKING ON BY. HER SOUL SLIDES AWAY, BUT DON'T LOOK BACK IN ANGER I HEARD YOU SAY"
great times. I laughed SO hard.
I NEVER realised how much until I didn't see him for a bit and then it's just non stop laughs.
He will tell you it's being wicked that keeps us cheerful.
My mother will tell you that my sis and I are getting 'just like your father'.
My Dad rocks. He is my hero.
His is my dad in the pub in nottingham one time he came to visit my sis and I last summer.
Little bit drunk, little bit wicked, but I loves him.
Wednesday, 2 March 2011
I was brought up listening to U2, my dad used to play Unforgetable fire to me when I was still in mummy's tummy. Apparently when I was born, the only way to get me to go to sleep was to rock me to that album as it was played VERY loud. apparently it was all about 'bad'.
An album I remember Dad playing when I was older was rattle and hum. I fell in love with both unforgetable fire and The joshua tree from that live album. Dad never loved the direction they took with achtung baby, zoo or pop and it wasn't until all that you can't leave behind I discovered U2 all over again. I remember racing out to get the single 'Stuck in a moment'. I adored it. but I never loved elevation. today, I also love walk on.
In 2002 for my birthday I was bought two albums, the greatest hits 1980 - 1990 and the greatest hits 1990 - 2000. It is no secret that i'm not a fan of most of their stuff from the 90s. The 80s - 90s album I was obsessed with. I have always said the day they write an album as good as the joshua tree is the day I become obsessed with them again. Listening to that 80s -90s CD I was like being reminded I had an intense connection to those songs before, I guess I had, when I was a baby.
When they released How To Dismantle and atomic bomb I was so excited. I hated Vertigo but other songs I loved a lot. sometimes you can't make it on your own is a incredible song. As is in the city of blinding lights and all because of you. my favourite song of that album was miracle Drug. I still play that song loads. At that point it was their best song since One.
I got bought the rattle and hum dvd for my 21st birthday and It was one of my favourite ever birthday presents. I watched it 3 times non stop that day! There was Bono saying "others run from acts of terrorism like we had today in a town called Enniskillen, where 11 people lay dead and many more lay injured'. Half way through the song Bono just chants NO MORE, NO MORE, NO MORE. I'm glad it's not as bad at home as it used to be. I've lived in a village 7 miles from Enniskillen since I was 4 until I was 18. It took me a long time to get used to living in England and seeing police that aren't armed. My best friend's brother almost lost his life in that Enniskillen bombing. I wonder if the people who fight in the name of glory and religion knows what it feels like to almost lose people you love. Or for those who havent been as lucky as me and have had the troubles kill their loved ones? I digress...
I got an American iTunes card and I downloaded with or without you live from paris and Milan. I still play the live version for Milan LOADS.
I adore unknown caller and moment of surrender of the last album. It's for me getting close to The Joshua Tree. But only those two songs.
Sometimes I hit play on with or without you and burst into tears, that is what that song means to me. LOTS. I adore the video, Bono with his hands held above his head as if tied.
If you asked me what song connects deepest I would say with or without you. It Soothes deep down into my soul. That bass line. its incredible.
"See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you"
I waited a LONG time to see U2 live. 22nd August 2009.
U2 is one of the most incredible bands ever. From the very very back, 3 rows from the top of a 70,000 seater stadium on the last night of the 360 degrees UK tour I FELT it. I never lost that connection. 70,000 people holding up their mobile phones to 'make a milkyway on the inside of the stadium'. moment of surrender is the reason I fell in love with U2 all over again.
"At the moment of surrender
Of vision over visibility
I did not notice the passers by
And they did not notice me"
I would almost kill to see them again.
I never went to the sixth form prom, I had no confidence and no date.
This is a photo of me from my university graduation ball. The first time in my life I had got to play proper dress up and I loved it. I hated the shoes though. they hated me.
The bar was pretty much out of drink so I ended up drinking cherry vodka alcopops. I don't even like cherry. and the queue was that big a bought two. I get hyper and mischievous when I'm drunk.
This is one of my favourite pics from that night. man I miss my uni girlies. and I miss uni. it was good times. life wasn't easy, but it was so much easier then.
Tuesday, 1 March 2011
When I was about 12, my sister had 'The Smurf's go pop' on CD. It was one of the first cd's she ever had. She had CD's before I did. I remember that summer, hanging out with the bad kids about the village, jumping between the walls in the park, drinking shandy, swearing and thinking we were so cool. I was fearless. I was a good kid, worked hard, never gave any trouble, but I was looking to be something other than who I was. Thank God I seen sense in the end.
Why is all this relevant? because when I hear no limits, all I hear is The Smurf's cover of it called 'The Smurfs are back'.
FYI: Newton Faulkner does a pretty good cover of no limits.
I first set eyes on Enrique Iglesias singing hero on Top Of The Pops. I was crying. His looks wasn't the first thing I noticed. His voice was heaven. The song spoke to the 15 year old me. I believed in love, and god knows I needed a hero.
Over the next coming months I became a huge fan. I was always on his website and looking at galleries of photos from fansites all over the world. I had floppy disks full of pictures. He is my type of guy. I love a hot looking latino man. And there is something so sexy about how the spanish roll their 'R's.
This picture is probably my favourite picture of Enrique. It was a poster in 'more!' magazine here in the UK. The magazine is a mix of fashion, beauty, men, relationships and sex. I LOVE that magazine. 'Nuff said.
Congrats Enrique on your first American Number 1. 11 years, seven months and three weeks since he first entered the charts in America he is number 1. LONG overdue. The longest gap in history between first appearance and getting a number 1.
anyhoo.... I digress.
Celeb crush: Enrique Iglesias.