day 08: a song that reminds you of your 'first love'

Lighthouse Family - Free.

There was another song off the 'whatever gets you through the day' album. It was called 'you always want what you haven't got'.

Not really my first love as he didn't feel the same, turns out he is gay, but this was a song I used to always listen to as I wrote my diary. and I did truly love him. I still think about him sometimes. I remember listening to this song the night I found out he had gone repeating my love letter to a mutual friend and then told her he wanted to be just friends.

It felt like my world had come crashing down around me. I felt like i'd been stabbed in a back by him repeating my deepest thoughts to someone else, and betrayed he didn't tell me to my face that he wanted to be just friends.

He was the first person I truly loved with everything I had. I've struggled since to trust men and love them as freely as I did him.

I still cry sometimes when I hear the lighthouse family.